My teen is sexting: what can I do?

To better understand

Sexting is sending intimate, sexually explicit messages, photos, or videos of yourself to one or more people. Don’t panic! Not all teens are sexting, but they all risk being exposed to it. Which is why it’s important to talk to them about sexting and digital technology in general and explain what a healthy and equal intimate relationship looks like.

For some teens, consensual sexting can be a way to explore their sexuality, develop intimacy with their partner, or test their powers of seduction. Teens can also sext as a way to get attention or reactions. Some may do it to impress or get a laugh out of their friends, without really considering the consequences. Unfortunately, some teens also send sexts because they’re being pressured or threatened by a partner or because they’re afraid the other person will be angry if they don’t. Some teens may also receive unsolicited or unexpected sexts that can make them feel uncomfortable or upset.

Sexting isn’t without risk and can have lasting consequences for a teen. First, once they hit send on a message, picture or video, they no longer have control over that content. Even if they initially trusted the other person, the explicit material can’t be unsent. Second, there’s always a risk the original recipient(s) will share or send out the sexts to a larger audience. Non-consensual sexting is a form of abuse and sexual violence. It’s important to educate teens about the consequences and the importance of not sharing intimate pictures or videos of others. Sexts can also be used to intimidate or blackmail the sender. See the fact sheet on sextortion for more information. Finally, by sharing or resharing sexually explicit pictures or videos of themselves or other minors, teens risk facing criminal charges for producing, possessing and distributing child pornography.

Finding out your teen has been sexting can be very upsetting for a parent. And it can have major repercussions on the teens involved and their families. But parents can still play a role in preventing sexting and its potential fallout for teens.

Practical resources and tools

1. For support :

Are you dealing with a situation that worries you? Ask for help:

• Info-Santé/Info-Social 811
• Tel-Jeunes Parents
• CLSC
• Organismes communautaires : maison de la famille, maison des jeunes, etc.
  Certains organismes communautaires offrent un programme de soutien aux parents d’ados. Informez-vous auprès des organismes près de chez vous.
• Intervenant∙e∙s scolaires

2. For more information :

• Canadian Centre for Child Protection: Helping families. Protecting children;
• Parent line: technology theme (French only)
• Tel-jeunes: Sexting.