What are social skills?
They are skills that enable a person to face life’s various challenges and feel good about themselves. Adolescence is a critical time for developing these skills.
Starting at a new school, moving to a new home, experiencing academic failure, falling in love for the first time, navigating conflict, seeking independence, choosing a career path, and entering the workforce—these are just a few examples of life events that will require teens to draw on these skills. To succeed, they need the support of their parents and other adults in their life.
Parents are the first role models for their children. However, it’s normal not to be perfect. Fortunately, social skills continue to develop throughout life.
Here’s an overview of the seven social skills to develop and tips on how to guide teens in building them!
What is it? It’s the ability to understand one’s own interests, needs, strengths and limitations. Did you know that good self-esteem starts with knowing yourself well?
To better support
- Ask your teen open-ended questions. Help your teen to think about their tastes and interests.
- Encourage your teen to try different activities to figure out what they like. If they’re no longer enjoying an activity, give them permission to quit while still encouraging them to see their commitment through.
- Encourage your teen to have realistic expectations.
- Guide your teen in identifying positive versus negative friendships. Discuss the things they value in their friendships.
What is it? It’s the ability to respond appropriately to stressful or challenging situations. This starts with recognizing the physical manifestations of emotions and stress, such as a racing heartbeat, sweating, clenched fists, etc. It also involves being able to name and understand the emotion being experienced: What’s causing it? What effects does it have? Finally, it’s about developing strategies for managing emotions and stress, while remembering these feelings are temporary and harmless.
To better support
- Encourage your teen to recognize the causes of their stress or anxiety.
- Remind them it’s normal to experience stress and difficult emotions.
- Talk about different ways to manage their emotions, such as writing, art, sports, yoga, outdoor activities, or music. Let your teen choose and apply the healthy coping strategies that work for them.
- As an adult, take time to reflect on ways to manage your own emotions and stress better. Remember, you’re your child’s first role model!
What is it? It’s the ability to ask for help, either for themselves or for someone else. Asking for help should be a natural reflex when someone is faced with a situation that exceeds their ability to cope. While it may seem simple, asking for help involves:
- Recognizing one’s own limitations;
- Identifying situations in which help is required;
- Searching for relevant information based on the situation;
- Consulting the appropriate resources.
To better support
- Help your teen recognize when it’s appropriate to ask for help. These are situations in which your teen isn’t able to come up with a solution to a problem—and there are no small problems. For example, one person may need help solving a math problem, whereas another person may need help dealing with a bully.
- Help your teen identify what’s preventing them from asking for help. Is it embarrassment? Pride? Fear? Not knowing who to talk to? Work together to find solutions.
- Remind your teen that you’re there to help. Together, identify other trusted adults who can provide support—whether at school, in your extended family, on their sports team, etc. Give them reliable sources of information they can consult. If needed, talk to them about available resources and where to find them.
Want to learn more? See: Demander de l’aide pour soi et pour les autres. Une compétence que votre jeune peut développer pour favoriser son bien-être.
What is it? Adopting prosocial behaviours starts with a desire to interact well with others. It also involves caring about their needs and point of view. It means showing consideration for others through your actions, words and behaviours.
To better support
- Celebrate your teen’s positive actions toward others (e.g., being respectful in class or helping a neighbour).
- Demonstrate your own ability to interact well with others and your teen. Be a role model in your interactions with others.
- Encourage respectful behaviour by voicing your disapproval of verbal, psychological or physical violence.
- When conflicts arise, help your teen understand both sides of the situation and find strategies to resolve the conflict.
What is it? It’s the ability to resist negative influences. Teens are exposed to many social pressures from their peers, the media, and social media platforms. Managing social influences starts with recognizing the various influences and understanding their potential effects on well-being. It’s also the ability to resist being influenced and to surround themselves with positive role models.
To better support
- Help your teen recognize various sources of influence, such as social media platforms, friends, and society in general. Discuss which influences are positive and which are less so.
- Help your teen to develop a critical distance from the messages around them. For example, point out that beauty standards presented in the media and on social media platforms are often unrealistic. Let them know about the many different body types that exist.
- Talk about strategies for resisting negative influences. For example, identify ways they can stand up for themselves positively and confidently.
What is it? It’s the ability to engage in projects, environments or causes that promote their well-being and that of others. It also involves making decisions for themselves and taking action to achieve their goals. This skill helps foster a sense of control and empowerment.
To better support
- Encourage your teen to get involved at school and in the community in things like cultural activities or sports, student committees, or volunteer work.
- Talk to your teen about social norms and conventions, such as honouring their commitments and seeing a challenging project through to the end.
- Involve your teen in decisions that affect the family. Try to empower them to some degree, for example, when negotiating outings or chores. Accept that they may not do their chores in the exact way you would have done them. The key is to encourage them to be independent and take on responsibilities.
