In this info sheet
Being a parent means first and foremost passing on your values. It also means supporting your teen in their daily life and choices, and standing by them in moments of joy, uncertainty, sadness, and anger. It’s about guiding your teen as they gradually transition into adulthood.
Being a parent also means doubting yourself and struggling to figure out how to interact with your teen. Even though the parent-teen relationship can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster, the parents’ role remains crucial during adolescence! The experts agree on this—and teens themselves confirm it: Parents have a major influence on their development, health and well-being.
Remember, the key is to maintain as positive a relationship as possible with your teen, even during rocky patches.
Once a parent… Always a parent
Little by little, you can feel your teens beginning to fly away from the family nest. Many teens become more secretive. Their friendships take on more importance. Your teen might challenge you, defy you, or even appear to push you away. As a parent, this may have you wondering if you still have a place in their life. The answer is: YES.
Parents can have a positive influence on the development, physical and mental health, and well-being of their teens.
Do you know that teenagers who benefit from a lot of support and guidance at home are also less likely to:
- Smoke;
- Binge drink (more than 5 drinks at a time);
- Use drugs;
- Have sex for the first time before age 15;
- Have high levels of psychological distress.
The parents’ role is all the more important during transitional periods or changes, such as:
- Starting high school;
- Parents separating;
- Declining grades;
- Moving;
- Etc.
Of course, being a parent of a teen means making adjustments. Supporting and guiding your child does not mean the same thing at age 3, age 12, or even age 17.
What’s the role of a teenager’s parent?
As a parent, you are not expected to be perfect, but you are a role model for your teen.
You need to be aware of your own attitudes, values, habits, and behaviours. What do you want to pass on to your teen? This is especially important as your teen is likely to confront you about many of your thoughts and opinions… it is best to be ready!
During day-to-day life, parents are faced with the challenge of maintaining a loving atmosphere and positive communication.
Talk to your teen, show them affection, and tell them you’re proud of their efforts and achievements. Accept your teen without judgment, embracing their strengths and challenges. Offer them comfort and a listening ear while respecting their need for space. Offer your help and support, and make sure they know you’re there for them.
To find out more, see Parent-teen communication
To find out more about how to support your teen, visit Even as a teen, your child needs your support!
The parents’ role is also to guide and look after their teen.
Do you know what your teen is doing at all times? Who they’re with? Where they are? Remember that it’s still crucially important to check in with your teen, if only by phone or text.
Set clear rules and fair, realistic consequences appropriate for your teen’s stage of development. Talk about it.
To find out more, see How to guide your teen
The important thing is to stay connected to your teen. Maintaining this bond means your teen will be more likely to turn to you for help. But that will only happen if they feel respected and accepted, no matter what they’re going through.
Resources and practical tools
For support
General resources
If you are dealing with a situation you are concerned about, don’t hesitate to talk to or consult a social services health care worker or professional:
This info sheet has been written in collaboration with:
- Isabelle St-Pierre, Psychoeducator and clinical activities specialist, Direction des programmes jeunesse et des activités de santé publique, CISSS de la Montérégie-Ouest
- Élise Cadieux-Lynch, Social worker and partnership liaison officer, Aire ouverte Brossard, CISSS de la Montérégie-Centre
- Léa Giroux, Leisure and community activities manager, La Croisée de Longueuil
Latest updates: december 2024