Even as a teen, your child needs your support!

Heartbreak, rejection, conflicts with peers, questioning their identity, their romantic relationship, their sexual orientation, their future: these are just a few of the situations teenagers experience. And this can bring with it all sorts of emotions! As a parent, seeing your teen go through sadness, or have concerns can be disconcerting.

As an adult, we can rely on experience and hindsight to help us. Therefore, the intensity of the emotions your teen is experiencing may seem disproportionate. Remember that for them, the situation is serious and affects them. Using sentences like the following will validate the emotion:

• “I know you’re sad and I’m sorry about that.”
• “If you want to talk to me, I’m here to listen to you.”

Away from others, invite your teen to come talk with you somewhere private. You can also take advantage of opportunities when you are in indirect contact, like during a walk or while watching a movie, to speak with them alone. These are better times for sharing confidences.

By talking with you, your teen is showing they trust you. Therefore don’t share their confidences. But there’s one exception: if someone is in danger or if the development of a minor person is compromised. In such case, explain to your teen what you must do and why. To understand what types of situations require an intervention on your part, contact one of the resources indicated at the end of this Info Sheet.

Your teen may not be ready to confide in you. Your role is to be there when they want to talk with you, even if that takes time.

Who hasn’t had the reflex of giving advice to someone when they’re not doing well? A solution might be good for one person, but not for another! Everyone has their own pace. Your teen needs to find their own solutions: the ones that make sense to them at that point in their life, even if it isn’t the choice you would have made.

In a whirlwind of emotions, your teen may be unable to see how to resolve their situation. At these times, everything might seem insurmountable to them and they may become discouraged. Help your teen see the different options for resolving their situation. Use open questions, as they allow a moment to step back and identify various potential solutions. Here are a few examples:

• “How would you change things if you could?”
• “What scenario would be acceptable to you?”
• “When you went through difficult situations in the past, what helped you get through them?”
• “What would you suggest to someone close to you in the same situation?”
• “What can you change and what is beyond your control?”
• “How can those close to you help you?”