In this info sheet
Seven key skills help your teen navigate the daily challenges of adolescence: acquiring self-knowledge, managing emotions and stress, asking for help, adopting prosocial behaviours, making informed lifestyle choices, managing social influences, and becoming socially engaged.
This fact sheet explains these social skills and your role as a parent in helping your teen to develop them!
What are social skills?
They are skills that enable a person to face life’s various challenges and feel good about themselves. Adolescence is a critical time for developing these skills.
Starting at a new school, moving to a new home, experiencing academic failure, falling in love for the first time, navigating conflict, seeking independence, choosing a career path, and entering the workforce—these are just a few examples of life events that will require teens to draw on these skills. To succeed, they need the support of their parents and other adults in their life.
Parents are the first role models for their children. However, it’s normal not to be perfect. Fortunately, social skills continue to develop throughout life.
Here’s an overview of the seven social skills to develop and tips on how to guide teens in building them!
1. Acquiring self-knowledge
What is it? It’s the ability to understand one’s own interests, needs, strengths and limitations. Did you know that good self-esteem starts with knowing yourself well?
To better support
- Ask your teen open-ended questions. Help your teen to think about their tastes and interests.
- Encourage your teen to try different activities to figure out what they like. If they’re no longer enjoying an activity, give them permission to quit while still encouraging them to see their commitment through.
- Encourage your teen to have realistic expectations.
- Guide your teen in identifying positive versus negative friendships. Discuss the things they value in their friendships.
2. Managing emotions and stress
What is it? It’s the ability to respond appropriately to stressful or challenging situations. This starts with recognizing the physical manifestations of emotions and stress, such as a racing heartbeat, sweating, clenched fists, etc. It also involves being able to name and understand the emotion being experienced: What’s causing it? What effects does it have? Finally, it’s about developing strategies for managing emotions and stress, while remembering these feelings are temporary and harmless.
To better support
- Encourage your teen to recognize the causes of their stress or anxiety.
- Remind them it’s normal to experience stress and difficult emotions.
- Talk about different ways to manage their emotions, such as writing, art, sports, yoga, outdoor activities, or music. Let your teen choose and apply the healthy coping strategies that work for them.
- As an adult, take time to reflect on ways to manage your own emotions and stress better. Remember, you’re your child’s first role model!
3. Asking for help for themselves or others
What is it? It’s the ability to ask for help, either for themselves or for someone else. Asking for help should be a natural reflex when someone is faced with a situation that exceeds their ability to cope. While it may seem simple, asking for help involves:
- Recognizing one’s own limitations;
- Identifying situations in which help is required;
- Searching for relevant information based on the situation;
- Consulting the appropriate resources.
To better support
- Help your teen recognize when it’s appropriate to ask for help. These are situations in which your teen isn’t able to come up with a solution to a problem—and there are no small problems. For example, one person may need help solving a math problem, whereas another person may need help dealing with a bully.
- Help your teen identify what’s preventing them from asking for help. Is it embarrassment? Pride? Fear? Not knowing who to talk to? Work together to find solutions.
- Remind your teen that you’re there to help. Together, identify other trusted adults who can provide support—whether at school, in your extended family, on their sports team, etc. Give them reliable sources of information they can consult. If needed, talk to them about available resources and where to find them.
Want to learn more? See: Demander de l’aide pour soi et pour les autres. Une compétence que votre jeune peut développer pour favoriser son bien-être.
5. Making informed lifestyle choices
What is it? It’s the ability to make the best choices for their health and well-being. These decisions can be related to healthy eating habits, sleep, physical activity, and personal hygiene. They can also include choices related to alcohol, drugs, smoking, and sexuality.
To better support
- Talk to your teen about the benefits of adopting healthy lifestyle habits. Focus on the short-term benefits that might appeal to them more (e.g., sleeping better or having more energy). Avoid linking discussions about food and exercise to weight; instead, emphasize well-being, enjoyment and energy.
- Address topics like smoking, vaping, drinking and drugs openly and non-judgmentally. Discuss the risks to help them develop their critical thinking skills. For more about how to talk to your teen about substance use, see this article.
- Encourage open conversations about sexuality and help your teen protect themselves against STBBIs and pregnancy. To learn more, see this article.
- Help your teen to weigh the potential consequences of their decisions.
- If your teen wants to change some of their lifestyle habits, suggest setting realistic goals. Talk about ways to achieve them.
- Reflect on your own behaviour. For example, if you’ve asked your teen to cut down on their screen time, consider doing the same thing yourself.
- Provide opportunities for healthy choices at home, such as stocking nutritious foods in the fridge or organizing family sports activities.
Resources and practical tools
For support
General resources
If you are dealing with a situation you are concerned about, don’t hesitate to talk to or consult a social services health care worker or professional:
To learn more
- Parents d’ados, de la tolérance nécessaire à la nécessité d’intervenir by Céline Boisvert, CHU Sainte-Justine collection for parents (French only)
- Ados : mode d’emploi by Michel Delagrave, CHU Sainte-Justice collection for parents (French only)
- L’estime de soi de nos adolescents : Guide pratique à l’intention des parents by Germain Duclos, Danielle Laporte and Jacques Ross, CHU Sainte-Justine for parents
To find out more about personal and social skills, see the seven fact sheets on taking care of your teen’s mental health.
References
The definitions on this page are inspired by the website: Faire ÉKIP pour le bien-être, la santé et la réussite des jeunes
This fact sheet was written in collaboration with:
Élyse Cadieux-Lynch, social worker and partnership liaison officer, Aire ouverte Brossard
Latest updates: december 2024
6. Managing social influences
What is it? It’s the ability to resist negative influences. Teens are exposed to many social pressures from their peers, the media, and social media platforms. Managing social influences starts with recognizing the various influences and understanding their potential effects on well-being. It’s also the ability to resist being influenced and to surround themselves with positive role models.
To better support