{"id":3016,"date":"2026-04-23T15:21:59","date_gmt":"2026-04-23T19:21:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/enmodeado.ca\/?post_type=boite-a-outils&#038;p=3016"},"modified":"2026-04-23T15:49:58","modified_gmt":"2026-04-23T19:49:58","slug":"independence-in-children-aged-9-12","status":"publish","type":"boite-a-outils","link":"https:\/\/enmodeado.ca\/en\/boite-a-outils\/independence-in-children-aged-9-12\/","title":{"rendered":"Independence in children aged 9-12"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n<section class=\"container-eklo add-table-content has-deco-top has-deco-bottom container-padding-4em\">\r\n\r\n    <div class=\"container\">\r\n                <div class=\"container-eklo-content eklo-deco\" >\r\n            <div class=\"acf-innerblocks-container\">\n<div class=\"highlight-box box-style-default\">\r\n    <div class=\"row align-items-center\">\r\n        <div class=\"col\">\r\n            <div class=\"acf-innerblocks-container\">\n\r\n<h2 class=\"title-icon h2\">\r\n    <span class=\"title-icon-icon\">\r\n       <i class=\"fa-classic fa-regular fa-thumbtack\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>    <\/span>\r\n    In this info sheet<\/h2>\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Every parent wants their child to become independent. Is there any greater feeling than seeing your preteen take initiative or do their chores without having to be reminded a thousand times? But what\u2019s considered \u201cnormal\u201d or expected for a 9-to-12-year-old? As a parent, how can you support them?<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\r\n        <\/div>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\n<\/div>\r\n        <\/div>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/section>\r\n\n\n\r\n    <div class=\"container-deco deco-top container-bg-color-white\">\r\n            <\/div>\r\n<section class=\"container-eklo add-table-content has-background has-white-background-color container-padding-4em\">\r\n\r\n    <div class=\"container\">\r\n                <div class=\"container-eklo-content eklo-deco\" >\r\n            <div class=\"acf-innerblocks-container\">\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong><strong><strong>Developing independence<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><a>When it comes to independence, things like chores or homework often spring to mind. But independence also means:<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Managing emotions;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Solving problems;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Having positive relationships with others.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Between the ages of 9 and 12, children become increasingly independent. For example, they can:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Make their bed and tidy their room;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Load and unload the dishwasher;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Cook simple meals;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Organize their school bag and do their homework;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Brush their teeth, wash their body and hair;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Plan their free time;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Begin to express their emotions and needs.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n<div class=\"highlight-box box-style-orange\">\r\n    <div class=\"row align-items-center\">\r\n        <div class=\"col\">\r\n            <div class=\"acf-innerblocks-container\">\n\n<p>If your child isn\u2019t yet doing all this, don\u2019t worry! <strong>Every child is unique and will develop their independence at their own pace. <\/strong>Their interests, strengths and maturity level will affect how their independence develops.<\/p>\n\n<\/div>\r\n        <\/div>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\n<\/div>\r\n        <\/div>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/section>\r\n    <div class=\"container-deco deco-bottom container-bg-color-white\">\r\n            <\/div>\r\n\n\n\r\n    <div class=\"container-deco deco-top\">\r\n            <\/div>\r\n<section class=\"container-eklo add-table-content container-padding-4em\">\r\n\r\n    <div class=\"container\">\r\n                <div class=\"contrainer-title\" data-aos=\"fade-left\">\r\n            <h2>Ways to encourage your child\u2019s independence<\/h2>\r\n        <\/div>\r\n                <div class=\"container-eklo-content eklo-deco\" >\r\n            <div class=\"acf-innerblocks-container\">\n\r\n<div class=\"accordions-block\">\r\n        \n<div class=\"accordion\" data-aos=\"fade-up\">\r\n    <h3 class=\"accordion-title\">\r\n        <a class=\"accordion-link\" role=\"button\" href=\"#panel-support-your-child-995\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"panel-support-your-child-995\">\r\n            <i class=\"fa-classic fa-regular fa-hands-holding fa-xl\"><\/i>Support your child        <\/a>\r\n    <\/h3>\r\n    <div class=\"accordion-panel\" id=\"panel-support-your-child-995\" style=\"display: none;\">\r\n        \n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Between the ages of 9 and 12, it\u2019s normal for your child to still need help with certain tasks and with handling emotions or conflicts. Little by little, they will learn to manage on their own. <strong>Offer to help them<\/strong>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Does your child find some tasks more difficult? Do them together. Walk them through each step. After a while, they\u2019ll be able to do one step, then another, without your help.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Some children may need written or visual chore lists. Suggest making the list together and turn it into a fun activity.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Is your child struggling to manage their emotions? Are some challenges hard for them to overcome? See the \u201cManaging Emotions\u201d fact sheet for ways to support them.<\/p>\n\n\r\n    <\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n\r\n<\/div>\n\n\r\n<div class=\"accordions-block\">\r\n        \n<div class=\"accordion\" data-aos=\"fade-up\">\r\n    <h3 class=\"accordion-title\">\r\n        <a class=\"accordion-link\" role=\"button\" href=\"#panel-have-realistic-expectations-541\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"panel-have-realistic-expectations-541\">\r\n            <i class=\"fa-classic fa-regular fa-person fa-xl\"><\/i>Have realistic expectations        <\/a>\r\n    <\/h3>\r\n    <div class=\"accordion-panel\" id=\"panel-have-realistic-expectations-541\" style=\"display: none;\">\r\n        \n\n<p>As a child\u2019s self-confidence develops, so does their independence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Let your child try things and make mistakes. Talk about the situation calmly and compassionately to help them do better the next time.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Lower your expectations and let go! It\u2019s possible\u2014and even highly likely\u2014that their bed won\u2019t be made exactly how and when you\u2019d like it to be.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Above all, resist the urge to do it for them\u2014even if you need to dig deep for patience and adjust your expectations!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\r\n    <\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n\r\n<\/div>\n\n\r\n<div class=\"accordions-block\">\r\n        \n<div class=\"accordion\" data-aos=\"fade-up\">\r\n    <h3 class=\"accordion-title\">\r\n        <a class=\"accordion-link\" role=\"button\" href=\"#panel-let-your-preteen-make-choices-410\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"panel-let-your-preteen-make-choices-410\">\r\n            <i class=\"fa-classic fa-regular fa-check-double fa-xl\"><\/i>Let your preteen make choices        <\/a>\r\n    <\/h3>\r\n    <div class=\"accordion-panel\" id=\"panel-let-your-preteen-make-choices-410\" style=\"display: none;\">\r\n        \n\n<p>Making choices, even small ones, helps children take responsibility and solve problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Set clear rules, but let your preteen make certain choices. For example, doing homework every day might be non-negotiable, but you can choose the time slot together.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Involve your child in decisions: planning their free time, choosing sports or cultural activities, family outings, etc.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\r\n    <\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n\r\n<\/div>\n\n\r\n<div class=\"accordions-block\">\r\n        \n<div class=\"accordion\" data-aos=\"fade-up\">\r\n    <h3 class=\"accordion-title\">\r\n        <a class=\"accordion-link\" role=\"button\" href=\"#panel-applaud-their-efforts-440\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"panel-applaud-their-efforts-440\">\r\n            <i class=\"fa-classic fa-regular fa-thumbs-up fa-xl\"><\/i>Applaud their efforts        <\/a>\r\n    <\/h3>\r\n    <div class=\"accordion-panel\" id=\"panel-applaud-their-efforts-440\" style=\"display: none;\">\r\n        \n\n<p>Encouragement builds self-confidence and perseverance, which are key to developing independence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Celebrate your preteen\u2019s efforts and successes.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>If your child makes a mistake or struggles, be understanding. No one gets it perfectly right on the first try! Talk about how they can improve the next time. Avoid pointing out their mistakes.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Take notice when your child shows independence, for example, if they settle an argument or unload the dishwasher without being asked.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Congratulate your child. This will encourage them to keep going!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\r\n    <\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n\r\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\r\n        <\/div>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/section>\r\n    <div class=\"container-deco deco-bottom\">\r\n            <\/div>\r\n\n\n\r\n    <div class=\"container-deco deco-top container-bg-color-gray-light\">\r\n            <\/div>\r\n<section class=\"container-eklo add-table-content has-background has-gray-light-background-color container-padding-4em\">\r\n\r\n    <div class=\"container\">\r\n                <div class=\"container-eklo-content eklo-deco\" >\r\n            <div class=\"acf-innerblocks-container\">\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Practical resources and tools<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. <strong>For support :<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You are dealing with a situation that worries you? Ask for help :<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list is-style-info-icon\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.quebec.ca\/sante\/trouver-une-ressource\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Info-Sant\u00e9\/Info-Social 811<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.teljeunes.com\/fr\/parents\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Tel-Jeunes Parents<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/santemonteregie.qc.ca\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">CLSC<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Community organizations: family centre, youth centre, etc.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some community organizations offer support programs for parents of teenagers. Call your local organization for information.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><strong>School staff members<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n<\/div>\r\n        <\/div>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/section>\r\n    <div class=\"container-deco deco-bottom container-bg-color-gray-light\">\r\n            <\/div>\r\n\n\n\r\n    <div class=\"container-deco deco-top container-bg-color-white\">\r\n            <\/div>\r\n<section class=\"container-eklo add-table-content has-background has-white-background-color container-padding-4em\">\r\n\r\n    <div class=\"container\">\r\n                <div class=\"container-eklo-content eklo-deco\" >\r\n            <div class=\"acf-innerblocks-container\">\n<div class=\"highlight-box box-style-black\">\r\n    <div class=\"row align-items-center\">\r\n        <div class=\"col\">\r\n            <div class=\"acf-innerblocks-container\">\n\n<p>This info sheet has been written in collaboration with :<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Genevi\u00e8ve Dumas, agente de relations humaines, Direction de la sant\u00e9 publique de la Mont\u00e9r\u00e9gie, Centre de sant\u00e9 et de services sociaux de la Mont\u00e9r\u00e9gie.<strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n<\/div>\r\n        <\/div>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-ad2f72ca wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>Last updated<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>:<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-post-date__modified-date wp-block-post-date\"><time datetime=\"2026-04-23T15:49:58-04:00\">2026-04-23<\/time><\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div>\r\n        <\/div>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/section>\r\n    <div class=\"container-deco deco-bottom container-bg-color-white\">\r\n            <\/div>\r\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"category-boite-a-outils":[68],"class_list":["post-3016","boite-a-outils","type-boite-a-outils","status-publish","hentry","category-boite-a-outils-pre-teens"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.8 - 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